Though we have been blessed to see my business grow, it has been a struggle that sometimes feels never ending. I started sewing bags and wallets and whatever else was asked of me so that I could help support the needs of our family. I was given projects in the very beginning and even throughout that helped hone my skills and make me proud of myself, which is something that I needed.
My Heavenly Father has never given me more than I could handle. Many times throughout the last 11 months I have prayed and asked, "Is this really what I should be doing." There is so much time that I have spent away not playing with my children, or helping with any of the house work because I am at my desk or on the floor working from sun up to sun down. Through these times I would pray, and every time I would get a resounding yes with orders that came out of no where. I sometimes thought it was just a coincidence, but as it continued to happen especially on my hardest days I knew that I was being given an answer. These orders were always just enough that it helped us to get what we needed, not much more and never less.
On one particular day I had one of my hardest days and was just about to throw in the towel. I remember asking Heavenly Father "Am I really supposed to be spending my time like this and not with my family? Shouldnt I be with my children and taking care of my family? Am I doing any good or just wasting my time?!" I sat and thought about it for a little while with tears in my eyes. (Ive had quite a few break downs, just ask Casey). While I was thinking and trying to calm myself down I got a message on my computer from someone inquiring about a bag. This bag is one of my favorites and I have wanted to make another one since I made my first. This lady that was asking if I could make this bag but do it custom for her using dark orange! As silly as that may sound to some to me it was something that brought a huge smile to my face. Not long after I knew that this order was just for me, that my Father in Heaven knew what he could give me to brighten my day. He knows me and he knows the things that I take joy in. He knows I love the color orange. I cannot quite describe the gift that was given to me at that time, but I know that it was a gift from my father in heaven telling me to cheer up and continue on. This was an order that brought me back into the swing of things and helped me to find the joy in the little things.
I still sometimes struggle with not having enough momma time with my girls, and not being able to do all of the house work that I truly do want to do. But I know that we have been blessed abundantly with the ability to take care of our families needs through my working at home. I know that it wont be something that I do forever even so I try to enjoy every moment of it. I do love working with the amazing ladies that I do, but my family always will come first. Hopefully one day soon we will have a few more reasons why I wont be able to spend so much time at my machine, but until then I will hold my head high and know that through trials come blessings, and sometimes through blessings comes learning and growth.
This may not look like much to some, but to me its a reminder of my Father in Heavens love for me.
